someone, somewhere

I'm going to miss Florida.
Miss having family to talk to and hang out with. There's the five of us, yes. But it's so good to feel like we belong to someone, somewhere.

- written 11/28/15

Christmas phone wallpaper

YOU GUYS. It's December! Which is so exciting because CHRISTMAS. Thought I'd help you out with making your phone a little festive for the month. This time you can choose from two wallpapers! Options! Yay!

...

Instructions for downloading this wallpaper:

From computer to phone:

Right click on the picture > Select "open in image in new tab" > Go to the tab and right click again, hit "save image as...", then save the image to your downloads > Go to your email! Attach the file from your downloads! > Pick up your phone and go to your email! > Save the attachment to your camera roll! > Go to camera roll and set this as your wallpaper or lock screen! Or both! Wha-la!

From phone (the simpler way):
*instructions for iPhones/iPods

Tap on the image to make it pop up in its own screen > Tap image again and hit "Save Image" > Go to your camera roll, select image > Set as your wallpaper or lock screen! Or both! Wha-la!

Enjoy!

xo.

TRAVEL DIARY - The weekend

It's nearing the end of week two in Virginia. Day 13 of 152.

I'm trying to exercise my vlogging muscles regularly (whatever that means), so here's a short lil vlog of the weekend which is basically just a lot of me and my sisters being goofy. But fun.

Enjoy our shenanigans.

xo.

on repeat • 05

drive - halsey [x]

the fire and the flood - vance joy [x]

only love - ben howard [x]

holding on to you - twenty one pilots [x]

while away - matthew barber [x]

hello - adele (duh) [x]

we can never go back - joy williams [x]
wild - troye sivan [x]

golden summer

I did not look forward to this summer.

While everyone was excited for school getting out and spring ending, I was begging it to stay. There was so much I didn't know. So much that could leave. So many things that could change.
But, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that change can be okay. Good, even.
So I tried to keep my chin up and look for the bright side.

Turns out, sometimes things go better than you could've hoped.

Not to say there weren't times that we hard. Times that I wondered. Not to say that sometimes there weren't tears in the morning.
But you know what I say, hard things are good and good things are hard.

What I know is that I ended up where I was supposed to be.

It was a golden summer.

TRAVEL DIARY - Getting there

Hey hey. Here we are again, a year later. My family and I have temporarily moved to Virginia for the third time. This is the longest stay out of the three. 

Since we'll be here for awhile, I thought it'd be fun to try my hand at vlogging regularly to document our travels.

It's not necessarily going to be artsy. Or pretty. And there will probably be a lot of sarcasm. And accents. And weird dancing.

But I hope you'll enjoy it somehow. Here's the first installment...

xo.

Free Fallin' Phone Wallpaper

Hey! I did a thing. Want a free fall phone wallpaper? Of course you do! (If you got the dumb pun/song reference in the post title, kudos to you. And let's be friends.)

To download this wallpaper, hand-painted by yours truly, simply follow these directions:

From computer to phone:

Right click on the picture > Select "open in image in new tab" > Go to the tab and right click again, hit "save image as...", then save the image to your downloads > Go to your email! Attach the file from your downloads! > Pick up your phone and go to your email! > Save the attachment to your camera roll! > Go to camera roll and set this as your wallpaper or lock screen! Or both! Wha-la!

From phone (the simpler way):
*instructions for iPhones/iPods

Tap on the image to make it pop up in its own screen > Tap image again and hit "Save Image" > Go to your camera roll, select image > Set as your wallpaper or lock screen! Or both! Wha-la!

 

Enjoy your new fall wallpaper!

@haleyjanepaints on instagram

*Artwork is property of Haley Jane, for personal use only.

I went back

I went back. To Virginia. I was there a short amount of time, really. Just enough to get acquainted. But see, that's the thing -- I didn't really need to be reacquainted. It felt like maybe I'd just been there yesterday instead of a whole year ago. Because it just feels like another home.

Funny how many homes one person can have, isn't it?

this time last year / on the horizon

LAST YEAR VS. THIS YEAR (SEE HERE)

"September 1, 2014

There's a strong feeling in the pit of my stomach and I know I must make the most of each moment here in a different place. Golly, that's hard. But it's worth it.
I miss family. I miss being home. I miss familiarity.
But I haven't felt that aching miss for a long time.
I'm beginning to think I'm immune to it? Perhaps?
Or maybe good things are on the horizon."

I wrote that the first of September last year when we were a few weeks into our two-month long stay. in Virginia. It's been a year and I don't know how that's possible, I remember it all so vividly. Not just the place, but the feeling of each morning and each night.

I remember this time last year -- angst knotted my stomach. I'd just moved seven states away from a boy who I just met who had some kind of smile I'd never seen before. I wanted to hold on so bad.

It's crazy the difference a year can make. How much can change.

Looking back, I can't even really coherently put into words the contrast of years and the thrilling moments and the empty ones and how they still come, both kinds. But in different facets. And how painful and wonderful it all is. This life.

This is what I know. What I can say clearly. The homesickness, the change, the adjustments. Whatever I didn't want at the time, I can say it again and again, I'm now glad they happened. And if not, glad that there was another side.

There are good things on the horizon.

things i learned

Things I learned today:

I’m still learning and that’s okay.
Life is weird sometimes. A lot of it is not what happens, but your reaction to it.

Take care of people. Whoever it may be. If you’re with them, take care of them. Get them food. Ask if they want something to drink. Take care of people.

Every fibre of my being misses you. (But I knew that already, didn’t I?)

-h.j. 6.21.14, taste & glory

note to self

This life. It's one crazy thing. It's June. A year ago I had no idea what a thrilling ride the coming months held. Didn't know what lessons I'd have to learn, what people I'd get to meet, what I would find in the people I already knew, who I'd say hello to, who I'd have to say goodbye to, who I'd come back to, and who would come back to me. I found how much angst could knot my stomach and how that fluttering, butterflies feeling could make my face hurt from smiling. It's funny, it would seem authenticity snuck in when I stopped worrying about it. I learned that to love in any way is to be vulnerable. That letting down that guard can be incredibly rewarding. To press in trying to meet people where they are, to love them without any ulterior motive, no pretense. I learned that there are a good many different kinds of missing people. Sometimes it's okay to know that you miss them and enough to know that they miss you too. That you can uproot your very life and find a new home for awhile. You'll miss what you left. But it doesn't always have to ache. Sometimes it's a knowledge of missing your people and your places. But you'll be all right. There's a kind of missing for things of the past that you must simply get over. Remember that nostalgia sometimes clouds your view, making former things seem better than they were. Take it at what it is. Treasure those memories and all the little things that remind you of those days, but move on and make new good times. There is an aching kind of missing and perhaps the best thing to do is let it be known. Tell that person you miss that you miss them. Hey, guess what? Humans are fallible beings. You want grace. Give them grace. But don't be blinded by the feel of a moment. Let the people who will value what's inside you, your heart, be the ones who are allowed there. There's a sacredness in things untold. Not everything must be analyzed to completion. It's okay to simplify a problem and not solve it. You don't always need to know all the answers just yet. You never know who or what is around the bend. Something or someone you never saw coming. Hard things are good, good things are hard. Don't judge what you don't understand or have no compassion for. Expect nothing, appreciate everything. Lean in, not out. Keep your eye firmly on the big picture when little defeats start to swallow you. One day what you're so worried about will become second nature, so take a deep breath. Don't finish reading books that have lost your attention, but don't give up on people. They're unfinished and so are you. Take a step back. Time will tell. But time can be cruel. And perhaps sometimes you need to tell time. For the sake of honesty, don't sugar coat things. You're not negative all the time and if a day sucks, it's okay to say, "hey, this day sucked." Feel it, then move on. Tomorrow will be better. And if not tomorrow, the next day. Getting to know people can be one of the most interesting and downright fun things. Even (especially) if it's a person you've known for awhile. You never really stop getting to know someone. Hang out with people who make you forget to worry about how your thighs look when you sit down. In turn, be one of those people who makes others feel comfortable and comforted. Darn things change, but thank God things change. You are where you are for a reason. No one is in your life by accident. And you're not in someone's life by mere chance either. This life is one crazy thing. And I guess we'll see what comes. We'll see.

immortal horrors / everlasting splendors

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously - no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.”

― C.S. Lewis

+

Was skimming through an old notebook and found this...

"Be yourself because someday, somebody's going to be the same kind of different that you are."
You'll hear people say that.
Maybe not exactly in those words.
But basically so.
But you know what?
Be yourself because that's who you were created to be. Because God made you in His image with a specific purpose in mind.
And, perhaps, as a bonus...somebody will really dig that different.

12/3/14
(thoughts from July 2014, now written)

writing prompt / 004

004. Which is stronger, love or hate? 

Love, of course. Hate is only love gone wrong, misplaced or mistreated. Hate cannot exist on its own, becaue it itself is the void of love. 4/28/15

the feeling of months gone by

We got back from Virginia six months ago now. Half a year. Half a year since living by the lake, half a year since winding roads and abundant trees, half a year since waiting in the Food Lion parking lot and eating a whole bag of sunchips, half a year since listening to Billy Joel albums in the damp basement, half a year since realizing home is not a place, home is your people.

I found some short clips form VA, there and back. So here's just a little feeling of months gone by.

you're my home - VA from haleyjane on Vimeo.

going home - VA from haleyjane on Vimeo.

writing prompt / 003

003. Name one thing you have lied to your self about. Why did you do this?

I lied to myself about my shyness being virtuous, rather than selfish. It was comfortable. It was safe. I avoided vulnerability. I lied to myself by thinking that it would be fulfilling to never stretch, jump, or take the risk. The best thing I ever did? It was getting over that shyness. And some of the best experiences have come from that. 2/4/15

before it's gone

i once asked 

if you could miss something

before it's gone.

now I know.

you can

and you will.

(i do.)

h.j.

writing prompt / 002

002. What is your favorite work of art? What do you love about it?

I'd have to say my favorite work of art would be Starry Night by Van Gough. 1) Because I do not know many works of art in the literal sense and 2) because it has been on the dining room wall of my grandpa's house as long as I can remember.

Two things I've learned from writing this: 1) I need to study more art. Classic things. Historical things. For claiming to love art so much, I suppose I am not well-versed in it at all, 2) that I need to look around more -- and not just look but observe. Because I've realized, though I can vaguely recall Starry Night, I do not know it in detail in my mind, though I've walked past it perhaps a few hundred times. And I know if I were to walk past someday, and it was suddenly gone, I would miss it. I wonder how many other things are like that. 1/15/15

-filed under: when I start writing and give deep answers to simple questions

sinking

***

Oh heyyy. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Somehow the past few months have slipped by in a fury of excitement. Q&A part two will be coming soon (cross your fingers). And perhaps I'll take to blogging a little more. It's not that there's a lack of things to tell, believe you me. But there is a sacredness in things untold.

And hey, it seems that I've joined tumblr. So go check that out here (X).

See you soon. xo.

check it

Sometimes I paint and sketch. Mostly quotes and flowers and such things. But I realized that I'd never posted any of them here. So, hey, here's a little collection of them for ya to check out...

(see more on instagram: @imhaleyjane / @haleyjanepaints / #haleyspaintings)

xo.

seventeen & crazy

“I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane.”

Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

Hi. I'm seventeen now.

In the last few days of being sixteen, when everyone's asking you "are you excited?", et cetera, et cetera, I didn't really know what to say. Because, wow, sixteen was such a darn good year. I mean, of course there were days that were just blah, because it's life and that's how it works. But as a whole -- darn good, like I said. 

I guess I just wasn't sure seventeen could quite live up to it. But every year is different. And seventeen? It's off to a pretty great start. (Honestly, really.)

Life is full of possibility. There's lessons to be learned from sixteen and new ones to be found in seventeen. And not to sound cheesy (cliches are mostly used because they're true, ya know) -- but living everyday to the fullest is not bad advice.

So the plan? The plan is this: live life & do the best you can.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."

Colossians 2:6-7

writing prompt / 001

I got a new journal. Actually, several new journals. It seems I find them in abundance and even when I'm not looking, they find me. One of them, though, is a bit different from the others. It's entitled "300 Writing Prompts" and is filled with just that. Now, I don't think I'll post them all here. I mean, some are bound to crash and burn. But the ones that turn out decently, I'll put a few of them here.

001. What is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?

My favorite way to spend a lazy day would be to rise early, before anyone else. To watch the sunrise from my bedroom window. To pull out my journal and write down long-pent-up thoughts, and maybe just scribble down some imaginings and hopes and dreams and fears as well. To have a clean face and a big comfy shirt. To paint and sketch in the soft early morning light. A few cups of coffee. One for necessity, the others just because I can and have the time to sip them slowly. Later, to pull out a book and read -- really read. Get caught up in the story, like I have not done for far too long. To maybe curl up in my bed in the afternoon -- sleep seems so much more appealing in the light. A little nap. After that, to turn on my favorite music and listen to the lyrics -- really listen. Then talk to those people who are my favorites and really talk to them with all my attention. Maybe write a few letters I won't mail. And to finish, a good, suspenseful tv show with a blanket around my shoulders. 1/13

And now I'm curious -- what is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?

on repeat • 04

the sound of silence (cover) by joy williams [x]

the heart by needtobreathe [x]

free fallin (cover) by john mayer [x]

love me like you do by ellie goulding [x]

hate to see your heart break by paramore ft. joy williams [x]

stubborn love by the lumineers [x]

one grain of sand by ron pope [x]

skinny love (cover) by birdy [x]

give me love by ed sheeran [x]

hopeless wanderer by mumford & sons [x]

end of time by the band perry [x]

footloose by kenny loggins [x]

xo (cover) by john mayer [x]

wake me up by avicii [x]