this time last year / on the horizon

"September 1, 2014

There's a strong feeling in the pit of my stomach and I know I must make the most of each moment here in a different place. Golly, that's hard. But it's worth it.
I miss family. I miss being home. I miss familiarity.
But I haven't felt that aching miss for a long time.
I'm beginning to think I'm immune to it? Perhaps?
Or maybe good things are on the horizon."

I wrote that the first of September last year when we were a few weeks into our two-month long stay. in Virginia. It's been a year and I don't know how that's possible, I remember it all so vividly. Not just the place, but the feeling of each morning and each night.

I remember this time last year -- angst knotted my stomach. I'd just moved seven states away from a boy who I just met who had some kind of smile I'd never seen before. I wanted to hold on so bad.

It's crazy the difference a year can make. How much can change.

Looking back, I can't even really coherently put into words the contrast of years and the thrilling moments and the empty ones and how they still come, both kinds. But in different facets. And how painful and wonderful it all is. This life.

This is what I know. What I can say clearly. The homesickness, the change, the adjustments. Whatever I didn't want at the time, I can say it again and again, I'm now glad they happened. And if not, glad that there was another side.

There are good things on the horizon.

1 comment:

  1. I love this so much, haley! the emotions that are evoked reading this piece are familiar and full of hope and pain and appreciation for the moments that shape us. xx