Missing someone is not what the internet makes it seem like. It’s not like books painted it to be. It’s not poetic like the movies.
It’s not pretty. It’s not a single tear on a pillow at night. It’s not looking out the window longingly. It’s not seeing a couple together and turning away from the pain of the sight. It’s not a simple “I miss you" text. It’s not a melancholy journal entry. It’s not a constant thought in the back of your mind.
It’s messy. It’s hard. It’s tiring. It’s a face covered in tears that won’t stop falling and four nights of mascara smeared across your pillow. It’s looking at the landscape and feeling numb. It’s seeing a couple together and thinking, “They’re together. Good for them.” Because you know how good that feels. Being together. It’s a five page letter to try to convey as well as you can how much you love them. And that’s still not enough. It’s leaving your journal untouched for a month because there’s nothing new to say. All that your pen will write is different ways of “I miss him”. It’s an ache in your arms, a hollow stomach, and a pulsating mind.
It’s needing someone when they cannot be near.